| Thursday, November 05, 2009 |
| Voices |
Maybe time really doesn't flow in a straight line.
Tonight, I was 8 or 10 or some number somewhere in there. I was sitting on the floor next to the bed, lamp light warming my head, pages flicking regularly as grandpa's grumbly voice rolled out Tolkein. He, in my head, was laying in his pj's on his side reading to us as we (well, me at least. Sometimes Sarah was there, Catherine and Suzanne too little to sit for that long) listened enraptured.
I haven't cried over missing him in sometime. It's different losing a grandparent as opposed to a child or a husband or a parent. The last time I felt this pang of missing him was when I saw someone sitting in Sears in one of the chairs, legs crossed, head propped on his index finger just like he did.
Tonight, hearing him so much younger, less gravelly, less cranky, was...different. Like he's drifting somewhere, lagging behind us, reading aloud and waiting. Waiting like he was waiting then, for us to see him again.
I'm glad to hear him, so very glad he took the time so long ago to read so many nights into the tape recorder for us. |
| posted by Jen @ 11:31 PM |
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| Saturday, October 03, 2009 |
| Older |
| I am older almost than I was last year. A little more together |
| posted by Jen @ 11:54 PM |
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| Wednesday, September 23, 2009 |
| It's a love story... |
Logan is in love.
With an older woman.
And she's orange.
And he will have to wait for a VERY long time before he can drive her and then only maybe to prom if he's very good. |
| posted by Jen @ 11:25 PM |
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| Wednesday, September 09, 2009 |
| To not be Jennifer this week.... |
I didn't expect to do this, this week.
I'm not old enough.
I wasn't old enough last year.
I wasn't old enough a few years ago.
It's not supposed to be like this.
It's not fair.
He didn't promise a fair life. He gives us hope. He brings joy in sorrow. He is the center of the hurricane, where the calm reigns. He is the glimmer that brings sense. He is the peace when we have had to trade one for another.
We don't think we should have to watch our sisters, our friends be widowed young. When lives are full of potential, full of beginning. I watched my oldest, dearest friend break. Now I watch the sister I lived with for the longest time break.
The breaks heal and form into a new thing, a breathable quiet strength. They are beautiful these two. Everyday stronger, every day quiet beauty growing inside. Doing and living and moving where I fear I would fail. Love them, lift them up.
We love the plan maker, but we don't ever understand the plan.
Jeremiah 29:11
11'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. |
| posted by Jen @ 8:23 PM |
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| Monday, August 17, 2009 |
| I am not amused. |
No. Not at all.
I DO NOT appreciate the IRONY.
Can we all guess what happened roughly an hour ago? Hmmm?
My hard drive is failing as we speak. Right now I'm on borrowed time as I pull just a few more files off of my computer. And yes, almost everything got burned onto dvds. And yes it did happen AFTER I transferred, sorted and backed up my data. I still do not appreciate the irony.
Not one bit.
(I do however appreciate the fact that I felt such an urgent need to get this done this weekend and finish today. I also appreciate the fact that the computer is still under warranty.)
So email me at work if you want to talk to me. jennifer.nuessen@wolterskluwer.com |
| posted by Jen @ 9:52 PM |
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| YES!!! |
| My photos are sorted and now I have 1 and only one copy of each on my computer. Currently I am burning them off. I think later tonight I will start working on making DVD's of all of my videos. |
| posted by Jen @ 5:23 PM |
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| Sunday, August 16, 2009 |
| The missing year |
I've been shorting out all my digital photos. There are so many of them! The weird thing is, I don't have any from 2001. None. I finally figured out why.
Number one reason:
I went back to school and was taking photography. Most of my albums contain film photos from then.
Number two reason:
I accidentally deleted a good chunk of them that year. This was extremely traumatic for me. But it must not be that horrible of thing because I didn't remember until now. |
| posted by Jen @ 9:16 PM |
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| What big teeth you have. |
I have big teeth. And with the red lipstick I almost have a fiendish mouth. Kind of like something you'd see right before it bites your ankle. |
| posted by Jen @ 8:21 PM |
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| The opposite of the cowboy with the gun. (Circa 2004) |
This is as close to being metro as Marc ever got. |
| posted by Jen @ 8:06 PM |
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| Lost no more |
I thought this was lost. Well, the actual paper one is, but not the scan I made. This was Logan's favorite state of being in kindergarten. And as you can tell from my previous post about summer, it still is. |
| posted by Jen @ 7:38 PM |
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| A natural |
I was talking to someone earlier this week about how long the kids have been posing for me, it was probably mom since she's the only other person I've talked to this week besides Marc.
And this is one of Arina about 4 years ago. If I remember correctly, I told her to just go over there and pose for me so I could check my lights.
I guess when you spend your entire life having your mom photograph you both posed and unposed, you just know how you should stand. |
| posted by Jen @ 5:36 PM |
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| Wednesday, August 12, 2009 |
| Oh, hello there! |
Oh poor neglected blog. You need a new template and design. You need to be updated. Badly. Even though I loves me some mermaid.
I have been facebooking it for the last few months and now, now I am feeling facebook burnt out. I don't write on it or update it as often because, well, it would be this: Went to work. Got annoyed with the slowness/skillset/brain function of our developers. Came home, didn't eat carbs, scale hasn't moved. Instead, I've been playing stupid games and not writing.
So here I am. I've made weird stuffed animals which will later this week get their very own post. (Amazingly I don't sew weird stuffed animals any better than I sew regular things. Even more amazingly, it doesn't show so much on the weird stuffed animals. Except the bunny. The bunny was odd. I digress.)
We have put in a better fish pond and a new deck section. I know like we NEEDED more deck. We didn't end up having to buy a new back door so instead, we made a new pond and completed a section of deck that had previously been badly paved. More pictures of that later. Right now the kids have the tent up so you wouldn't get to see very much.
I'm not sure how I feel about working summer. This summer has been kind of stinky because I have had so many release deadlines at work. This isn't typical so next summer should be better.
Arina is now 9 and just had her birthday yesterday.
The children are all tanned and bronzed from swimming. We all know who they take after now and it isn't the pale freckled person I am married too.
I have lost almost 15 pounds and am currently in a weight loss program. Hopefully, by the end of the year, I will be able to fit my vintage clothes that I wore in high school and college. Especially the jacket that Sarah hates. Which she thinks was the stars/stripes one. HA HA, it was the denim plaid lined one, with the beaded lace.
Quit laughing Mom, I realize my children have misshapen my body, but I'm in denial about that.
The children are witty in their own odd ways. Earlier this week, we had to all go to Wal-Mart. The children begged for pool noodles as we walked past all the pool toys. I told them there was no point as there was only a week left of swimming. After we got back to the car, Logan lamented, "Oh man, I really wish I could have gotten a noodle."
Arina pipes back, "You already have a noodle."
Laughter from every one else. Then one second passes, then another.
Logan "HEY, that wasn't very funny."
We a babysitter quit mid summer, as I wouldn't let the first one have her 22 year old boyfriend (she's 14) hang out at the house. OMG, I am so unfair. The second one was my first pick originally, but I couldn't use her during school as she was out for sports.
At work we reorganized our department. While I didn't change teams, I did change where my cubicle was located. Now I'm over with my team (and they are all awesome!) in a peaceful section of the office. Before I was next to several loudmouths who liked to call their bill collecters all day and argue with them, argue loudly with girlfriends, take personal calls I just don't need to hear and burp/fart/make other disgusting bodily noised with a blatant disregard for their surroundings.
I haven't gotten as much accomplished this summer on my book as I would have liked. I need to quit being a slacker.
Other than that, look for my life updates here for now. I'll still comment to you on facebook, but for now, I love my blog.Labels: deck, oh I do have a blog, summer |
| posted by Jen @ 9:00 PM |
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